Month: March 2013

‘I finally know now, as I easily knew then, that the most important thing is love. It doesn’t matter in the slightest whether that love is for someone of your own sex or not. Gay issues are important and I shall come to them in a moment, but they shrivel like a salted snail when compared to the towering question of love. Gay people sometimes believe (to this very day, would you credit it, young Stephen?) that the preponderance of obstacles and terrors they encounter in their lives and relationships is intimately connected with the fact of their being gay. As it happens at least 90% of their problems are to do with love and love alone: the lack of it, the denial of it, the inequality of it, the missed reciprocity in it, the horrors and heartaches of it. Love cold, love hot, love fresh, love stale, love scorned, love missed, love denied, love betrayed … the great joke of sexuality is that these problems bedevil straight people just as much as gay. The 10% of extra suffering and complexity that uniquely confronts the gay person is certainly not incidental or trifling, but it must be understood that love comes first. This is tough for straight people to work out.’ (Fry, 2009)

I had heard about Stephen Fry’s letter to himself a few years ago, but I hadn’t read it. When it was published I was 17, recently out and beginning to understand what being gay meant. Although I was being criticised by my peers for making everything in my life about my sexuality, they were doing it too, however unaware of it they were. As Fry says later in his letter, ‘straight people are encouraged by culture and society to believe that their sexual impulses are the norm’. I was then openly exploring something that wasn’t the norm, but to a lesser degree than they were. Most of my friends were in relationships, one of my closest being in a relationship with a guy no one knew about, or had been in relationships. I was the awkward single one, starting to get involved in the gay community, but not feeling confident enough to actually be on my own.

Nothing much has changed. I am still single, with some of my friends being in relationships. Some are recently single, but I, it seems, am the eternally single one. That’s not to say that I resent others for being in relationships, but my ideas of relationships are very different and not realistic. With thanks to films, music and books, I have a preconceived idea of relationships. Although they differ, they all tend to be the same. The two people are bought together and realise that they are perfect for each other. Is that realistic? Or is that just a idealistic version of relationships?

Works Cited

Fry, Stephen (2009) ‘Stephen Fry’s letter to himself: Dearest absurd child’, The Guardian [Online]. Available at: http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/apr/30/stephen-fry-letter-gay-rights (Accessed: 20 March 2013)

Silent films rely on a good soundtrack and good expressive acting. If neither work then the film will be difficult to understand.

The Artist (2011) a modern black-and-white silent film won three Golden Globes, seven BAFTAS, and five Academy Awards. It proved that silent films still had an impact on audience and could be popular. The film follows the romance between George Valentin, a silent movie star, and Peppy Miller, an unknown extra who becomes a star of ‘talkies’ (films with sound).

The film’s soundtrack reinforced the emotions in the film, and also gave the audience a sense of the mood of the scene that they were watching.

In my performance, I would like to explore the style of a silent films. The use of music to set the tone, as well as using projected film cards (see below) tell a story, will help me to explore what goes unsaid during a date. It will be difficult to convey the emotions to the audience, as well as conveying the meaning of my performance at the same time. However, with the use of the appropriate film cards I will be able to tell the audience about my experiences of dating without speaking.

‘In November 2003, after a court decision in Massachusetts to legalise gay marriage, school libraries were required to stock same-sex literature; primary schoolchildren were given homosexual fairy stories such as King & King. Some high school students were even given an explicit manual of homosexual advocacy entitled The Little Black Book: Queer in the 21st Century. Education suddenly had to comply with what was now deemed “normal”.’ (O’Brien, 2012)

Cardinal Keith O’Brien wrote an article against same-sex marriage and outlined his views on homosexual relationships and how a change in marriage laws would affect society. His views against homosexuality may claim to be religious, however, as a man who speaks on behalf of ‘God’ I do find it very ironic that he seems to be able to speak on behalf of the church and ‘God’.

I was a church goer when I was younger, and although I didn’t face any homophobia in church, once I was out of the loop I realised what a closed circle the church is. Much like any community, including the gay community, they can oust those who do not fit or disagree with what they stand for. There is also the split within the community. Of course, there will be Catholics who disagree with O’Brien and there will be gay people who disagree with same-sex marriage as they have civil partnerships which are enough for them.

I have also felt a sense of negativity in the gay community. It isn’t the most accepting community, and I have often felt that I was not accepted when with other gay people. Maybe that is because I was simply just not like them, and they strived to be the well known members of the gay community who would then have more influence over others. Although this is may be because of the small gay scene in Lincoln, but it seems surprising that a minority should be hostile towards other gay people just because they don’t live up to expectations.

It seems to me that the gay community needs to be much more positive about the future, and not allow negative influences, within itself and external influences such as the church, to destroy it. The gay community has come a long way since the 1960s, and it shouldn’t double back on any advancements towards equality.

Works Cited

O’Brien, Keith (2012) ‘We cannot afford to indulge this madness’, The Telegraph [Online]. Available at: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/9121424/We-cannot-afford-to-indulge-this-madness.html (Accessed: 9 March 2013)

Marriage

noun

• 1the formal union of a man and a woman, typically as recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife:she has three children from a previous marriage
•  [mass noun] the state of being married:women want equality in marriage
• (in some jurisdictions) a union between partners of the same sex.

(Oxford Dictionaries)

Finding ‘the one’ is most people’s dream. Although it is argued that there is not just ‘one’ person that you could spend your life with, most people still look for ‘the one’. We see it in films, books, and music.

(Today I Met) The Boy I’m Gonna Marry

Darlene Love’s song is about the boy that she wishes to marry because she wants to share his ‘life and dreams and love’ (1963). The song resonates the message of finding ‘the one’ and falling in love on a whim.

Yet as a gay man, I cannot marry another man. A civil partnership is an option, but still I don’t have anyone to marry. Although it may seem selfish, I am not sure how much I support the ‘gay marriage’ because I don’t think it should be ‘gay marriage’, more ‘equal marriage’. People seem to be getting confused between the two. But I have been bought up thinking that getting married is a normal thing to happen in love, along with having children, a dog and a good job, however the reality for gay people is rather different.

Works Cited

Love, Darlene (1963) (Today I Met) The Boy I’m Gonna Marry [CD]. London:Sony CMG

Oxford Dictionaries (2013) Marriage [Online] Available at: http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/marriage?q=marriage (Accessed: 1 March 2013)